Friday, July 23, 2010
Went to school on Wednesday. Came back and I felt like shit again. But I'm quite happy that exams are over :D Feel abit feverish, like as though my illness is back again. Never mind, and I still got to worry bout the accounts. Wanted to go down to GF but nobody is going down. Pride issues haha. Went back home and I walked Cookie early. She's having menses and she is feeling moody :( Poor thing... And having me as an owner sucks cause I'm useless.
Yesterday , I'm guilty for not going school. It was raining damn heavily in the morning. The thought of taking my cue, laptop and umbrella dreads me to go to school. I actually wanted to wait for the rain to stop and go to school but again, I will be graded F because it's HTM. Anyway, that bitch would give me a B and down grade me, what's more criticise my RJ. Hate her, always full of criticisms and never once she will praise me. Sorry that I can't present well. Everybody is different what. Okay, enough of ranting.
Met Angeline at Hougang, I wanted to take MC but there were too many people :( Then we took a train down to Bugis. Saw a mixed baby, Belgium mix Chinese. Wah damn cute, look like the precious thought figurine. Angeline was like "I want to marry an Angmoh!" -.- Haha, Singapore hard to find lah. Want to find normal Singaporean guys already so hot, still looking for Angmoh? FAT HOPE. Okay, we went to Sungei road. It was full of surprises and disgusting moments but yet there are nice people there. So yup, alot of man were staring at us when we looking at stuff. Never see girl before meh? Lame sial~ Not saying I chio or what, but I'm serious. Then we went to eat Scissors Cut Rice! Yum yum sial~ Then I went down to GF. Sigh~ Out of place feeling is back. Finally happy that the accounts are settled, Philip help me with it. Good to see Stanley and Manfred doing well, not really but at least abit? Haha I can see most of them speaks Chinese. Well, makes it harder for them I guess. Jia you okay :D
Angeline's loots
See get what I meant!
So I ended up not going to school again. Angeline's sms woke me up at 8.17. I'm like shit... Why didn't the fucking alarm ring? So anyway, I had a hard time sleeping last night, my leg was like fucking sore. Only my right leg, and my message chair's cable is missing -.- Sian, then never mind, I have to message my own leg keep praying that it will be okay. I don't know what time I fell asleep but it was hard trying to sleep. Today I went to see a doctor with my Mum. The doctor said that lack of sleep couldn't cause to feel abit hot and stuff, then he prescibed Panadol and Losengers -.- Went to get stuff for tomorrow's trip and I'm not excited at all for sleeping with a couple.
Fuck this pair shit thingy man, so irritating. Everywhere I go its fucking always couple and it makes me feel so fucking fucked up. Cause I hate to see pairs, you know. 3 is odd get it, it's odd for me. It makes me feel out of place. I hate this feeling man :( Everyone has their best buddy or best friend, me? Even in pool, its like Eugene have Zhee, Shikin has a bf. And what am I left with? Always feel awkward and stuff, but I can't fucking complain. It's okay it's okay, smile Nicole but you know how that feels? Lonely. But I don't blame myself, I just don't want to have another relationship but yet the pool circuit is full of guys and whoever I'm close to I would appear to be stalked and called scandalous. I ignore because I knew I only loved that fucker, but you know it's so hard just to ignore it sometimes? I don't even like to go GF at all although it seems that I'm always there. I like Classic, I like the people there. Nobody will fucking show me attitude. I mean what did I do? I don't want to break up with him either, I tried already okay. So stop it seriously. If you think he is so good, then you should probably have a paparazzi to follow him. I'm quite sure, that's someone new. Fucking like a ghost sial, I even dream about him, stop haunting me lah. Get out of my head, you're not handsome or what, don't even know why the fuck I keep lingering on our memories.
And times like this when everyone shows me attitude, you would always tell me don't care don't care. Although, you always say the same thing, but you know it still helps cause I know you're here for me. Nobody will understand my pain, except for you. But you're gone for good even after so many apologies and yeah I can't blame anybody but myself. I should stop wondering what happened in between and probably just forgo what happened. Since I can't do anything to compensate, then I should just fuck out of your life.
SO NICOLE IS TIME TO MOVE ON, TRAIN HARDER, SMILE MORE!
ACCEPTANCE 3:17 PM
